Do It While You Can

I have a friend of whom I am proud. She had the courage to leave her family and friends and go live in another country for 3 years. I am proud of her because she did something that I admire very much, but would not have the strength to do myself. I am a big advocate of doing as much of the big things in life that you want to do as early as possible. By that I mean doing things like traveling before you settle down and have a family and have greater responsibilities. I always said that that was the road I would take. I would travel and explore and do lots of different things before I settled in one place. Here I am, 23 years old and I am a married homeowner who hasn't been anywhere notable since high school. I am not sure what I want to do with my life, and I am still in college. I am in no way saying that I have any regrets. I love Sean more than anything and I love my house. I just can't help but feel that I missed out on my dreams of living in other places and being free to do what I want. As I try to sort out the right path for myself, I can't help but feel enviously of the lives of others who have had the strength and determination to do amazing things. So here's to you Liz! I am looking forward to seeing you when you come back from your big adventure!

Not Your Mother's Radio

I just got XM satellite radio and it is great! I am sort of a tech junkie, so new stuff like that appeals to me anyway. This was a little different than trying a new e-mail program because of the high start up cost. It was just under $100 for the equipment to make it work in my car and in my house. It also costs $12.95/month to subscribe. I was pretty sure that I would like it because radio commercials want to make me drive off the road, and the mindless chatter of DJs is enough to make me want to scream - like I care about the club they were at last night! Anyway, I fell in love with my satellite radio this week. I got it last Friday. It was totally easy to set up and it was activated almost immediately. There are NO COMMERCIALS! As if this wasn't good enough, there are also no DJs providing worthless commentary. A voice comes on every 5th song or so and tells you what station you are listing to - that is all. I take it everywhere with me. When I am at work, I log in to the website and listen to their streaming radio over the computer. The only reason I survived so long without it was public radio - which they also have on XM. I have been really impressed; Sean on the other hand has been more skeptical, but when is he not? You might hear more about this radio since I am currently obsessed with it.

June 1

I got married yesterday. I really was just as simple as that.

We made an appointment with a judge at the little courthouse in Chelsea and took our close family with us. We all walked down to the Common Grill afterwards and had a champagne toast and a nice lunch. I feel fantastic. I really thought that I wouldn't feel differently, but I do. I love Sean so much and it feels great to be his wife.

Because we celebrated with such a small group today, we are planning to have a reception next spring where we can invite all our friends and extended family from out of town. After that, we will go on a honeymoon. I am so excited about everything that is to come.

I was hard to not have my mom there, but everyone was so happy and that helped.

1 year

Today is the 1-year anniversary of my mother's death. I was expecting today to be pretty bad, but it has actually been pretty good, all things considered. I thought that I would only be able to remember the sadness, but instead I have been thinking about all the great times. It is amazing how quickly you forget the bad things and how strong the good memories become. I remember my mom as strong, independent, and caring. I still miss her so much it hurts.

WARNING!

What follows might be classified as a rant: I am sick of being treated like a second class citizen because I am in a live-in relationship, but not married. What the hell is the problem here? Unmarried people who are in loving, committed relationships should have the same rights as married people. I am not any less committed or involved with Sean because we aren't married. WE OWN A HOUSE TOGETHER - I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE! In fact, I would say that we are more committed than some married people I know who have more benefits than we do. What difference does a piece of paper make? ...apparently alot! Realistically, even if you are religious, the logistics of marriage are legal and only work because of a piece of paper. I am not talking about spirituality here, I am talking about logistical things like health insurance and ownership of accounts. I am talking about rights to see someone in the hospital and automatic beneficiary of accounts. This is not hard people! It bothers me to no end that if Sean were in a bad accident tomorrow and only family were aloud in the hospital room, I could not get in to see him. What has society come to when we only recognize relationships that exist on paper?

Coincidence? I think not!

Let me preface this by saying that I realize this is strange. Here goes... everytime I am in the car and get frustrated with what is on the radio, I end up finding a Prince song. Eventhough I tend to be far from superstious, I wholly believe that it is my mom at work. I know, I know, weird! I cannot think of another explanation. I truly don't ever remember hearing this many Prince songs on the radio. I don't want to be one of those people who throws salt over their shoulder and finds meaning in all things, but I can't help but think it is her somehow. For some reason I can't help but try to think of rational explanations for this, but I can't. Maybe sometime soon I can be satisfied with the idea that it is her.

Pleased

My boyfriend Sean got glasses recently and my first impression was really good. I like the way he looks in them and I love that he can see better. Once I saw him in them a little, I told him that I thought they made him look friendlier. My last statement must be followed up with this: Sean is generally pretty standoffish. Basically, he isn't very approachable. This isn't just my opinion - he really never gets spoken to by strangers. Anyway, I told him that I thought the glasses made him look more approachable and friendlier. He sort of shrugged this off. That was about a week ago. We were talking in the car last night and he said, "lots of random people have been either talking to me or asking me questions lately." Well, it is safe to say that I was pretty pleased with myself because of my earlier observation. "I told you so," was not far from my thoughts. I was pretty excited that my assessment came to light so quickly. Sean, on the other hand, was not so happy. He said he hated that people were asking him to borrow a pencil in class, or asking him for the time. This made me even more excited because it drives him nuts. Really, though, I think it's good for him.