19 March 2005

Chalk it up to principles

I think I have a shit list. When people test my principles, I make a mental note that I carry around. This practice doesn't seem healthy, but at this moment, I don't care. Something happened recently that will change the way I feel about someone forever. I may not show that my feelings have changed right now, but I am confident that a time will come when I will have had enough and I will either tell that person where to go, or I will be extremely passive aggressive towards them (fightin' words, I know). That doesn't sound healthy either, but as I said before, I don't care. I think that I am more disappointed than anything in the fact that this person changed my perception of them. I was happy with the way I felt about this person. I wasn't in love with this person, but things were amicable. I think about the shit list thing like a mental chalkboard with tally marks after people's names. I am only willing to tolerate so much before I snap. The snap may be as simple as never doing a favor for this person again. I wouldn't classify this as a grudge, it is more of a "wrong me once, shame on you; wrong me twice, shame on me." I guess that I am just not going to be as willing to let this person have an opportunity to frustrate me again, which basically means that the relationship has been reduced to room temperature.

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